Today 19 months after my Danny left. I took Daniel and we have been gone 12 hours we went to the Columbus Ohio County Fair and we had a very good time. All the while my thoughts were on my Danny and Why.... I have been trying now for 19months to try and go forward and realized I wont have fun no matter how hard I try, because the fun part of me left with Danny. He was the best half of me that made me whole, so without him I am not whole.
I have tried and I will try, but I think in my hearts of hearts it will not happen to find happiness again. So maybe I will have to just settle with that fact, that life as I have known it is over. Maybe that is the only way it will be from this time forward. I or anyone should not need another person so much to live and have fun, but truly after almost 29 years you are such a part of each other that it is hard. I just wonder about life, and all that was and would have been, I wonder about people that have never known what I have ,or they will never know. I wonder about my own children and their happiness and will they ever find what Danny and I had. hmmmm I wonder. WE invested a lot of time and a whole lot of effort in our marriage and to just try and forget it or put it in the back of my mind seems to difficult and not right. But maybe one day just one day I will be able to go on. Next week is our 29 Anniversary and I will celebrate it as if Danny was here just like last year. Danny may be gone but Danny won't be forgotten. I love and miss you my love with all my heart. I know you are probably saying come on now get on with it, you have a lot of life to live now you need to get to it. I know you are probably a little mifted at me for pinening so hard for you and missing you to the point that I am. But I am not sorry for loving you with all I have with all my body and soul. I would hope if it was the other way around you would be having the same problem. I have a lot of regrets and I think that may be part of the problem. I regret that I could not stop you from leaving the hospital, I regret not being able to save your life on the floor at the house, I regret and hurt that you broke your toe. So many regrets and to much time. Love and Miss you my Love your Sweetie Rona XOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXO
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